New month, new layout. I love monthly turnovers. Have you ever gotten the feeling that everyone’s prettier, more well-dressed, and a better person than you, even though you’re actually okay? Well, that’s how I was feeling today, until me and Suzanne hit bottom. The only way to go is up, so we cracked ourselves up til we felt better. ^-^

So now I’m pretty happy, I’ve come up with a new idea for a website: artology, a collection of my web design and photography and art, things like that. I’ve come up with a great layout for it, based on a Wonder Woman picture. (Don’t ask.) Anyway, I should have that up hopefully today or tomorrow, because I’ve planned the whole thing out. I wish my scanner worked. That might help with the pictures.

lindsey @ 4.10PM

I am so happy!! Roswell made me happy again. I haven’t watched it in so long. This week’s episode was kind of stupid, but the previews for next week look amazing. Finally, we get to figure out this weird Liz/alien thing! I don’t know what it is, but this show always makes me feel better about life in general. Life seems happy again when you get reassurance that it’s okay to dream. I wish I could capture this smile on my face and keep it forever.
Lindsey @ 9:32PM

I can’t believe it. My car has been sitting in the wrecking place for so long that the total charge is $354.38. And that’s just today. Tomorrow it will be $15 higher. But I’m going to sell it to a salvage yard and use that to pay the wrecker and help buy insurance. This whole mess is just crazy. I wish I had a lawyer in the family to give me advice. I don’t know if I have to buy insurance for the totaled car that I will never drive again, or if I should get multi-vehicle insurance, or just get it for my mom’s car, or what.
At least I got my internet hooked up. It disconnected Friday for no apparent reason. But now it works again!! Yay, free NSU computer people. I’m working on the redesigned version of this layout. It will look much better, it’s bugging me with this high resolution. I actually might design a photographer’s website for her. She needs one, I can do that, she can pay me. Sounds perfect. 🙂
The job was really great. It made me miss Carmike though, and all the people there. But the box was much more lavish than the little dinky Carmike one. This theater has a computer system in box, so when it’s slow, I can play Minesweeper and Solitaire. :p
Lindsey @ 5:29PM

Wow… The talk of the town is apparently The Bloggies. As I read these and vote (My personal fave picks overall are Wil Wheaton dot Net and Daily Sardonicism. <– She’s from Tulsa. ^-^) I wondered, “Why don’t I ever get something like this?” And then the answer came to me, as if from a revelation: I don’t ever talk or update, I switch designs too much, my content is extremely low, and I talk like a frickin teenager. Oh, wait… I am. That’s still no excuse. I’ll be 20 in July. Grr.
Whatever. The point is, I’m gonna try to get better at this. I promise. Hopefully soon. I’m just extremely busy. And I just got a job! Yay! Working at the theater here in Tahlequah. So now I have two jobs, both in theaters… Hmm. I start tonight, I’ll tell you how it goes.
As far as love life, I’m even more confused than before. You know what? I’m really a fool sometimes. Please don’t ever push something you’re not ready for, or that you’re not even sure you want. Cause now… I think I’m in a little over my head here. At least I had the backbone enough to stop things before they got worse. Geez. I’m tired of this doublespeak. I think I should just get some anonymous domain and blog all my worst horrible secrets, including all the names and dirty details. Of course, I wouldn’t tell anybody what the address was. Maybe the unsuspecting public would find it and be enthralled, but my family and friends can’t know this stuff. I just want to write it, I don’t want it out in the open.

I am so bad. I haven’t gone to class in three days. I keep waiting for my life to calm down, but maybe it’s me that needs to direct it. The last words of Fight Club keep echoing in my head: “You just met me at a really strange time in my life.”
Lindsey @ 12:49PM

Hey everyone! I bet you’re all like, “Dang, where’d Lindsey go?” Well, I’m here now. Again. I really haven’t had much computer time over the break and they just hooked up my internet in my new room today! That’s right, I moved in with Gina. I’m not an RA anymore. I got my grades from last semester and they weren’t anything to even be remotely proud of. So, I decided to quit the RA thing and concentrate on school. So, anyway…
Once again many things have happened since I’ve last written. I feel like a completely new person. One thing that I want to get out is that I don’t have a crush on anyone. I can always tell when I don’t because I build people up in my mind that I used to have a crush on. I guess to make my brain think I like them again. But today I have realized that I don’t like anyone. It’ll take some getting used to.
Another thing is that I’m kind of depressed. Not really that bad, but… I’m not happy. I always told myself that if I found myself in a situation during my life where I realized I wasn’t happy, I would get out of there and fix it. But I can’t right now. I feel so trapped here in little Tahlequah, partly because of my scholarship and partly because I have no money or car. I had a wreck last Friday, and although it wasn’t a very bad wreck, my little tin can of a car was totaled. So… no car, no money, no job, just a scholarship, a room, and 17 hours of hard classes. Yay. Feel my ecstasy.
But my brush with death has left me feeling very open and apathetic. I’m going to tell people how I feel and not care what they think about it. So Marc, if you’re reading this, hey, I used to have a big big crush on you. But not anymore because obviously, I haven’t seen you in over a year, and I’m not looking for a relationship right now. I just want to be friends, no matter what certain psychos *coughericcough* say. 😀

I feel so much better.

Now… anyway. Hopefully I’ll be updating more and I’ll have a new layout up soon because I got Paint Shop Pro 7 for Christmas!!! Yay!! Thanks Dad! Hmm. Maybe I’ll keep this layout. I kind of like it. Of course, I’ll modify it a bit. I switched to a higher resolution and it looks funny now. It still looks good on 800×600 though. Alright, that’s enough for now. Bye!
Lindsey @ 11:36AM

Hello, all. Not a whole lot of news. I changed the mood of the page in cliques, even though the Moody page isn’t even working right now. Added a couple of links to release. Here’s the lyrics of those songs I was talking about yesterday:

Gravity of Love by Enigma

O Fortuna (O Fortune)
velut Luna (like the Moon)

Turn around and smell what you don’t see
Close your eyes … it is so clear
Here’s the mirror, behind there is a screen
On both ways you can get in
Don’t think twice before you listen to your heart
Follow the trace for a new start
What you need and everything you’ll feel
Is just a question of the deal

In the eye of storm you’ll see a lonely dove
The experience of survival is the key
To the gravity of love

O Fortuna (O Fortune)
velut Luna (like the Moon)

The path of excess leads to The tower of Wisdom
The path of excess leads to The tower of Wisdom

Try to think about it …
That’s the chance to live your life and discover
What it is, what’s the gravity of love

O Fortuna (O Fortune)
velut Luna (like the Moon)

Look around just people, can you hear their voice
Find the one who’ll guide you to the limits of your choice
But if you’re in the eye of storm
Just think of the lonely dove
The experience of survival is the key
To the gravity of love.

O Fortuna (O Fortune)
velut Luna (like the Moon)

I Love You by Sarah McLachlan

I have a smile
stretched from ear to ear
to see you walking down the road

we meet at the lights
I stare for a while
the world around disappears

just you and me
on this island of hope
a breath between us could be miles

let me surround you
my sea to your shore
let me be the calm you seek

oh and every time I’m close to you
there’s too much I can’t say
and you just walk away

and I forgot
to tell you
I love you
and the night’s
too long
and cold here
without you
I grieve in my condition
for I cannot find the strength to say I need you so

oh and every time I’m close to you
there’s too much I can’t say
and you just walk away

and I forgot
to tell you
I love you
and the night’s
too long
and cold here
without you

Lindsey @ 10:37PM

Well, here’s a new layout… isn’t it pretty? I really like the image. It was handmade by me in Fireworks, not a bad program. This image reminds me of two songs, the title song “Gravity of Love” by Enigma, and “I Love You” by Sarah McLachlan. And that’s what I was listening to when I made this layout, so I guess they’re theme songs. ^-^
Lindsey @ 10:55PM