I’ve grown a lot lately. That’s apparent. I’m not the selfish vengeful person I was before. I’m this new person that really cares about other people’s feelings, although I still have a long way to go. But a lot of things from my past have come up that I was hoping I’d put behind. It’s just that when you realize how the different you would have acted in a past situation, you see how much better things would have turned out, and that’s the hard part.
I thought talking to him would help. Except I couldn’t really tell him all I wanted to say. I told him that I realized how much I had and let slip through my fingers, and that I missed him. That I was sorry for the way I treated him. And in a way, that’s enough. If I never talked to him again, that would be enough. But I didn’t tell him how sometimes at work when it’s late, I just wish he would walk through the door. And I would give him a big hug. That’s all. That’s all I have.
Time is the silent killer of love and sadness. I said that a long time ago. And it’s true. My feelings and the whole relationship have slipped away to only a thin wisp of sorrow, just a dream that happened a long time ago. I just wish I could have done things differently. But everything happens for a reason. I just have to keep telling myself that. I do feel like I can start over now. A new beginning. Maybe this time, I will get it right.
Lindsey @ 2.45PM
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