Is the world going crazy?! Is Mercury in retrograde or something?! My computer is acting very very weird. First of all, the tagboard is weird colors. I looked at the code, and it hasn’t changed, I mean I wasn’t really expecting it to change by itself anyway, so there is absolutely no explanation for why it looks that way. Secondly, my Movable Type is acting up, giving me 404 pages on weird stuff at random, it’s never done that before. Then I tried to post a reply comment to somone on my page (an odd someone on an older entry) and that doesn’t work either. And just now I tried to send eric an e-mail and it said his hotmail address doesn’t exist! I know it does, I was replying to his message!! But I tried again and it worked. I don’t understand. I think I have somehow mistakenly entered the Bermuda Triangle. Without moving. Or sailing. Which would be moving. I am confused. I bet it won’t even let me post this entry. Ha.
I need to be sleeping, and yet I must work on this before I my brain cracks down the middle and I start foaming at the mouth and throwing peeled potatoes at my CPU.
As an afterthought, I just got a very nice job, so any qualms I had about not having enough moolah to go to Hawaii have been appropriately squished.
Have you ever looked back on yourself and realized that although you were a moronic imbecile, you can definetely see that you are at least not that bad of a moronic imbecile at this point in time? Today I realized that I have this wonderful beautiful thing that is my personal thoughts and emotions recorded for the rest of time, this terrible and fantastic outlet that has been keeping me sane for the last four years. I love it. I LOVE it. If I could I would wrap my arms around it and hug it and jump up and down and squeal with joy. Well, I could do that to my moniter, but that just wouldn’t be the same.
I’m so glad I chose to do things the way I did. Even the really stupid shit. Because I can see now how if I had done it any other way, it wouldn’t have been me, and I wouldn’t be the same now. Let me make the point that I am in no way saying that I am perfect at this moment, or completely happy with myself, but right now I KNOW myself. And I have been searching for that a very long time. I just know, at this exact point in time, that everything always has and always will turn out exactly how it’s supposed to.
One reason for this is reading my old diaryland archives. Another is that the other day God pretty much did everything but come down to the physical plane and slap me around to let me know he’s there. Waiting. Watching. Listening. Guiding. And when God so obviously tells you something, you can’t help but do it and trust him the whole time.
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