Category: ukiyo.net

You know, you can act brave and tough, and you can occupy every single waking moment of your time with something else so you don’t have to think about it, but getting your heart broken and not knowing why and still missing the person like crazy really, really, really sucks.

I think about all these plans that were made for the future, all these good times yet to be had, and I feel cheated.

I really thought this was the one.

I may or may not be posting for a while, and I may or may not be making a new layout soon. It really all depends. Let me just say that I’m going through a really hard time right now (it’s not because I’m in Hawai’i… it’s beautiful here) and I would appreciate any prayers, kind words, or just favorable thoughts directed towards me.

Thanks.

So, I have TWO announcements today. If you didn’t read the comments on the last post, Shayna’s having a baby boy! Yay! Seth gets a little brother. 🙂

Also, Happy Birthday to Duane! Yay! I hope you have a great birthday in the Quah, Duane. Remember that McDonald’s I got you as a pre-birthday present. Mmmm…

Haven’t been doing much… classes are still good… been playing Halo a lot, still working on the new design. Hey, I guess I should post those pictures that have been building up in my camera, huh?

So I had my first day of class yesterday… it was great! I love my Japanese professor, he’s so crazy. And I feel like such a little kid in that class, learning how to talk all over again. It’s awesome.

My other classes are pretty good, lots of reading. But I like reading. Still haven’t found a job… but working on it. Choir was really fun… I hadn’t realized how much I missed it, so I’m going to try out for the Chamber Singers in about 30 minutes. I’m not really nervous. One thing I’ve found: it’s really hard to be nervous in Hawai’i. The slowness and relaxation just gets into everything. It’s great.

And…. I found Halo. Yes I did. I have so many freaking pictures to post, and one is of my Halo buddies. Halo makes the world go round, I tell you what.

I’m working on a new layout. Bear with me. I’m slow.

Ya know, I really should make this little rule: NO posting while upset. But unfortunately, I’m breaking that rule right now.

I miss my fucking friends. I really really do. Because I feel absolutely, 100% deserted right now. Two people I care about very much have both had serious problems with me the first week I go 4000 MILES AWAY.

I really don’t understand this. Yeah, hey, I decided to do this. Yeah, I know I have to grow up and being away from my “safety’s” is neccesary. But why the crap do you have to rip out my entire support system from the ground up?? Why?

Anyway, my friends would never do that to me. I’ve met people here, but I really can’t know anybody well enough yet to unleash my torrent of unrest on them. And they’re not MY FRIENDS.

Arg… why does it have to be so crapping hot here? It’s one o’clock and I’m already drained and exhausted. And this is even after a nice lunch of blackened mahi and spinach fettucine. I wonder if I have some kind of disease. I say that because I’m also bruised up really bad. I have a huge goose egg thing on the side of my leg that’s black and green and purple and I have NO IDEA where it came from… And on my OTHER leg there is a line of bruise… this one is green and yellow with a purple splotch in the middle and highly painful. I think I remember how I did that though, I ran into a suitcase at the airport. But coupled with my tiredness it worries me. Although it’s probably just that I’m a klutz and have jet lag, and therefore, a bigger klutz. Ah well.

The unorganization of the University of Hawai’i continues… I’ve been about 15 places already today, and I still have a lot more stuff to do. sigh Later I will be posting more pictures… I’m just too tired to do it now.

Well, I am here. For better or for worse. And here’s the story.

If you weren’t at the airport, you missed a very emotional scene. I’m so grateful to those that came to see me off though. You can’t know how much that meant to me, each and every one of you. I was fine, though, until I went to hug David goodbye. And then there was bawling. But I got on the plane, and I felt a little better. I realized that I really like flying, which is good because I have to do it again at Christmas. I was terribly exhausted though, only sleeping a couple of hours that night, and all I could do on the plane was doze. At Denver, I wasn’t so much excited when I got there as confused. It’s a huge place, and it’s a little overwhelming, especially when you’re already afriad you’re going to pass out and start snoring in the terminal. I wandered around aimlessly for awhile, avoiding the bookstores (I lose time AND money), and finally had some overpriced french toast at a little bistro. At the Denver airport, I saw a little internet port thing and it was called Shibby!! So I thought of Tyler in the middle of Denver. I waited and waited and finally got on the Honolulu flight. I had kind of a crappy seat, even though there was a girl next to me who was from Hawai’i and was really nice, but the flight attendant was super nice and got me a window seat! I told her I was going far away to school for the first time and I think she took pity on me. So I sat next to this very nice woman that lives in Honolulu and we talked quite a bit. At the end of the flight (which dragged ON and ON and ON) she even gave me her card and said to call if I needed anything! That impressed me. Actually, I’ve found that mostly everybody in Hawai’i is that nice. 😀 I took some really awesome pictures of Hawai’i from the plane. This is not the Big Island, it’s the one Pearl Harbor is on, I forget which one that is. I took a picture of Pearl Harbor (I knew it was Pearl Harbor only because of my nice flying neighbor).

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On the flight from Honolulu to Hilo, I met another girl coming to UHH named Liz and we got along great! She’s from Vermont and she’d never been to Hawai’i either and she also has a boyfriend that she has to be far away from. So I made my first friend. 🙂 That flight was kind of little and shaky, but everything went okay. I got offered what I think was called Guava Juice, which is pinkish and looked kind of good, but since I’m allergic to some fruits I decided not to risk it on the first day. When we got off the plane, some UHH people were there to meet us, but both Liz and I’s bags were missing. Liz got hers when the next flight came in, but I had to wait about three hours until mine came on the last flight. I hadn’t slept in 20 hours, I was starving, and I was covered in a nice sheen of sweat. The humidity in Hawai’i, believe it or not, is even worse than in Oklahoma. I was trying to think how to describe it to you today… it’s almost like a rainforest. The air is very thick and damp, but it seems to make everything seem clearer and greener as well, and for some reason the water looks smoother and shinier than I’ve ever seen it. Maybe it’s the saltwater.

Anyway, I finally did get my bags, and my dorm room. I met two guys that are nerds like me and we talked XBox and City of Heroes. I think both of their names are David, but that might have been the homesickness and sleep deprivation. I got in my dorm only to realize that a) I didn’t bring a towel or shampoo, and b) that the airport had taken off my locks and used zip cords and I had no sharp implement to cut them with. Fortunately (or not), they banged up my suitcases pretty bad and one of the zippers was off one side of the track, so I could open that one. Thank goodness it was the suitcase with my underwear and bedding in it. I borrowed a towel and soap from Liz, took a shower, put on some underwear, made my bed and went straight to sleep. It was about 11PM here but 4AM Muskogee time. I woke up this morning at 5:30 Hawai’i time to some psychotic and highly annoying bird announcing his presence. Went back to sleep. I woke up again at 8AM to Liz knocking on the door, and fortunately she had a pocketknife and I could get dressed.

I got my student ID made, and when I went to get it validated for the meal plan I discovered that a) the meal plan here is NOT part of housing, b) they never sent me the neccesary meal plan form, c) it’s 1100 dollars by itself and I barely had enough student loans BEFORE, and d) even with financial aid I have to pay 25% of the cost up front. So my emergency 500 bucks on my credit card is now my emergency 200. And I really need a job.

I met my suitemates, another Liz and Kendall, who are both part of the National Student Exchange, where basically you get to go to other colleges in the USA. They’re both really nice. My roommate is still not here, but I’m kinda enjoying the privacy. Liz and I walked around all over the place today. I DID finally get to eat and it was pretty good. The food choices here are amazing. One thing I absolutely LOVE is that there is so much Japanese life here. Most of the signs are in English and Japanese, and in the airport the messages on the loudspeaker would be English, then Japanese. Plus there are a ton of Asian students here. I can’t wait until I know enough to overhear other people’s conversations. 🙂

There was a shuttle to Wal-Mart so Liz and I went, and I got everything I needed, except for cotton balls, q-tips, and a cable for the TV I got. So I can play XBox, but no cable. Dang it… I miss Adult Swim. Yeah, I bought a TV for 60 bucks… not bad. And last night a guy was cleaning out his dorm room and I got a slightly used fridge for 20 bucks. So I stocked up on some juice and fruit cups and Snack Packs. Snack Pack!! And I’m posting pictures of my finished dorm room and stuff. I wish I had taken my camera to Wal-Mart. The view from Wal-Mart was gorgeous! And the sacks all say Wal-Mart Hawai’i. It really is beautiful here, if you can get over the heat. And the rain. It’s really odd, the rain. It’s not even like it’s raining. It’s more like it got so humid that it’s mist. Mostly it’s not hard enough to get an umbrella, since you’re going to be damp anyway and the mist at least cools you off. The dorms don’t have air conditioning. In fact, most of the buildings around here don’t, and everything’s really open. I like it that way, although I did have to buy a fan. It got a little bit chilly during the night though.

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Last night on my way back from the airport, one of the guys driving the van, Jim, was telling me it’s still summer here, so it won’t be this oppressingly hot the whole time. Another odd thing: all the street lights are a dim orange, which makes for a very surreal night atmosphere and Jim explained that they’re dim because of the astronomical observatories. Which is a really cool reason to have orange street lights.

Gas here is 2.32 though. And so are Big ‘n Tasties. Which are only a dollar back home! tear But I don’t plan on eating much McDonald’s anyway. I just had to today because it was in Wal-Mart. It’s one of those things where you have to. Don’t question it.

I am terribly homesick but I think it’ll get a lot better when classes start. But for now I will immerse myself in City of Heroes. Arg. It’s only 7 o’clock but I’m already tired. I wake up at 8AM to go to advising and registration. Yay! And then I have to buy books… Ew. I’m going to buy them used on Amazon, but I’m still afraid they’re going to be expensive. I’m going to look for a work-study job tomorrow. There is a Borders here, and I would love to work there, but it’s pretty far away to walk. Especially in the heat/mist.

I found out my address is 603 W. Lanikaula St. #319A, Hilo, HI 96720 but I still don’t know my phone number. I’ve been using my cell phone to call my mom and David, but I don’t really know yet if I’m charged extra for that. The phone situation should be fixed in a couple of months though. I leave you all yet again, but my thoughts are always with you. Aloha!