I’ve grown a lot lately. That’s apparent. I’m not the selfish vengeful person I was before. I’m this new person that really cares about other people’s feelings, although I still have a long way to go. But a lot of things from my past have come up that I was hoping I’d put behind. It’s just that when you realize how the different you would have acted in a past situation, you see how much better things would have turned out, and that’s the hard part.
I thought talking to him would help. Except I couldn’t really tell him all I wanted to say. I told him that I realized how much I had and let slip through my fingers, and that I missed him. That I was sorry for the way I treated him. And in a way, that’s enough. If I never talked to him again, that would be enough. But I didn’t tell him how sometimes at work when it’s late, I just wish he would walk through the door. And I would give him a big hug. That’s all. That’s all I have.
Time is the silent killer of love and sadness. I said that a long time ago. And it’s true. My feelings and the whole relationship have slipped away to only a thin wisp of sorrow, just a dream that happened a long time ago. I just wish I could have done things differently. But everything happens for a reason. I just have to keep telling myself that. I do feel like I can start over now. A new beginning. Maybe this time, I will get it right.
Lindsey @ 2.45PM

Hey, lookiethar… I updated. Freaky. I’m so sorry that I’ve been so absent!! I have been working like a dog the past two weeks. I have about 60 hours on this next paycheck though.:) Spiderman has come and gone… Star Wars has come and gone… the series finale of Roswell was excellent. And both those movies were just the absolute shit. I’ve been having Jedi dreams ever since the 16th.
I do adore this layout but it grates on my nerves in some strange way. I don’t think it was meant for the left side scrollbar. Oh, well, I’m still keeping it there because it’s cool. And there’s no way in heck I can make a new layout right now. I’m drained. I still haven’t recovered from working 7 days in a row, and they wouldn’t even let me work Sunday because I would be exceeding 40 hours for last week. Dangit. I was kind of looking forward to the overtime. But I digress.
Life in the apartment is okay. It’s pretty nice actually. Much better than that shoebox I was living in. And someone left behind this beautiful wooden shelf on the third floor, and if nobody claims it, I’m taking it. The only problem with the apartment is that the phones don’t work, and the charger to the cell phone is lost. It’s kind of nice to know that no one can bother you though. If anybody does need to call me and is reading this, you can still leave a message at my old extension, I usually check that every other day. Soon I have to move to Haskell Hall. I’ve heard it’s okay except for the bugs. Blech.
I just have so much to talk about!! I’ve been really growing lately. It’s like I can see the things that are wrong with me, or the major points of my personality (thanks to Daniel), and how to fix things. So now I’m going for what I really want, which is to be an actress. Oh, I’m still going to get the Chemistry degree but I’ve just always wanted to act. In high school though, my best friend Betha was an aspiring actress and I couldn’t even attempt to try and steal her limelight. Then a few bad run-ins with the drama teacher and I felt like my dream was lost. But I have new hope, and a strong desire to make my dream happen. Let’s hope that’s all I need. 🙂

Lindsey @ 12.26PM

Wow… I finally found out how to put the scrollbar on the left side. I love it!! Um… *cough* Not a lot to say. Spiderman’s in about 9 hours. That’s exciting. 🙂 Once again, I didn’t go to class. I’m getting so bad about that. I’m still making good grades, though. Dan brought up an interesting point. He said that since we’re paying, we shouldn’t have to go to class as long as we’re doing okay in it. So why does NSU have that attendance policy? I guess we’ll never know.
So last night I watched First Look at Spiderman on HBO with Dan, Prichard, and the Moe Bros. That got me really thinking about how much work goes into movies. I love movies, they’re a big part of my life, and yet I had no idea just how complicated they were. I am totally flipping out over Star Wars II: AOTC. I’ve gone to starwars.com and watched the commercials about a million times. I’ve come up with a brilliant plan!!! When they make the next one (III), I’m going to be an extra in it!! Wouldn’t that be amazing to tell your friends and maybe your grand-kids someday that you were in a Star Wars movie? I don’t care where they’re filming, I don’t care how much it costs… I will be there.
But until then, I’ll just have to watch AOTC and drool.
Lindsey @ 2.37PM

Here’s that lovely layout I promised. It’s not as beautiful as I’d hoped, but seeing as it’s probably going to be the last layout ever for letomoon.lindsey.net, I think it’s okay. Yes, that’s right. I am finally getting my own domain name. I already have the name, rinji.net, I just have to buy the space now. I’ve got the plan all picked out. I’m so excited. I think I have an idea for the first layout too. So look for that sometime this month!! ^-^ Today is a really boring day. I have some errands to do, but you know me. Lazy, lazy, lazy. Plus I am completely freaking out about Spiderman. I only have 35 more hours until I get to see it!!
Lindsey @ 1.59PM