Author: lindsey

  • 18 August 2004

    Arg… why does it have to be so crapping hot here? It’s one o’clock and I’m already drained and exhausted. And this is even after a nice lunch of blackened mahi and spinach fettucine. I wonder if I have some kind of disease. I say that because I’m also bruised up really bad. I have a huge goose egg thing on the side of my leg that’s black and green and purple and I have NO IDEA where it came from… And on my OTHER leg there is a line of bruise… this one is green and yellow with a purple splotch in the middle and highly painful. I think I remember how I did that though, I ran into a suitcase at the airport. But coupled with my tiredness it worries me. Although it’s probably just that I’m a klutz and have jet lag, and therefore, a bigger klutz. Ah well.

    The unorganization of the University of Hawai’i continues… I’ve been about 15 places already today, and I still have a lot more stuff to do. sigh Later I will be posting more pictures… I’m just too tired to do it now.

  • 17 August 2004

    Well, I am here. For better or for worse. And here’s the story.

    If you weren’t at the airport, you missed a very emotional scene. I’m so grateful to those that came to see me off though. You can’t know how much that meant to me, each and every one of you. I was fine, though, until I went to hug David goodbye. And then there was bawling. But I got on the plane, and I felt a little better. I realized that I really like flying, which is good because I have to do it again at Christmas. I was terribly exhausted though, only sleeping a couple of hours that night, and all I could do on the plane was doze. At Denver, I wasn’t so much excited when I got there as confused. It’s a huge place, and it’s a little overwhelming, especially when you’re already afriad you’re going to pass out and start snoring in the terminal. I wandered around aimlessly for awhile, avoiding the bookstores (I lose time AND money), and finally had some overpriced french toast at a little bistro. At the Denver airport, I saw a little internet port thing and it was called Shibby!! So I thought of Tyler in the middle of Denver. I waited and waited and finally got on the Honolulu flight. I had kind of a crappy seat, even though there was a girl next to me who was from Hawai’i and was really nice, but the flight attendant was super nice and got me a window seat! I told her I was going far away to school for the first time and I think she took pity on me. So I sat next to this very nice woman that lives in Honolulu and we talked quite a bit. At the end of the flight (which dragged ON and ON and ON) she even gave me her card and said to call if I needed anything! That impressed me. Actually, I’ve found that mostly everybody in Hawai’i is that nice. 😀 I took some really awesome pictures of Hawai’i from the plane. This is not the Big Island, it’s the one Pearl Harbor is on, I forget which one that is. I took a picture of Pearl Harbor (I knew it was Pearl Harbor only because of my nice flying neighbor).


    On the flight from Honolulu to Hilo, I met another girl coming to UHH named Liz and we got along great! She’s from Vermont and she’d never been to Hawai’i either and she also has a boyfriend that she has to be far away from. So I made my first friend. 🙂 That flight was kind of little and shaky, but everything went okay. I got offered what I think was called Guava Juice, which is pinkish and looked kind of good, but since I’m allergic to some fruits I decided not to risk it on the first day. When we got off the plane, some UHH people were there to meet us, but both Liz and I’s bags were missing. Liz got hers when the next flight came in, but I had to wait about three hours until mine came on the last flight. I hadn’t slept in 20 hours, I was starving, and I was covered in a nice sheen of sweat. The humidity in Hawai’i, believe it or not, is even worse than in Oklahoma. I was trying to think how to describe it to you today… it’s almost like a rainforest. The air is very thick and damp, but it seems to make everything seem clearer and greener as well, and for some reason the water looks smoother and shinier than I’ve ever seen it. Maybe it’s the saltwater.

    Anyway, I finally did get my bags, and my dorm room. I met two guys that are nerds like me and we talked XBox and City of Heroes. I think both of their names are David, but that might have been the homesickness and sleep deprivation. I got in my dorm only to realize that a) I didn’t bring a towel or shampoo, and b) that the airport had taken off my locks and used zip cords and I had no sharp implement to cut them with. Fortunately (or not), they banged up my suitcases pretty bad and one of the zippers was off one side of the track, so I could open that one. Thank goodness it was the suitcase with my underwear and bedding in it. I borrowed a towel and soap from Liz, took a shower, put on some underwear, made my bed and went straight to sleep. It was about 11PM here but 4AM Muskogee time. I woke up this morning at 5:30 Hawai’i time to some psychotic and highly annoying bird announcing his presence. Went back to sleep. I woke up again at 8AM to Liz knocking on the door, and fortunately she had a pocketknife and I could get dressed.

    I got my student ID made, and when I went to get it validated for the meal plan I discovered that a) the meal plan here is NOT part of housing, b) they never sent me the neccesary meal plan form, c) it’s 1100 dollars by itself and I barely had enough student loans BEFORE, and d) even with financial aid I have to pay 25% of the cost up front. So my emergency 500 bucks on my credit card is now my emergency 200. And I really need a job.

    I met my suitemates, another Liz and Kendall, who are both part of the National Student Exchange, where basically you get to go to other colleges in the USA. They’re both really nice. My roommate is still not here, but I’m kinda enjoying the privacy. Liz and I walked around all over the place today. I DID finally get to eat and it was pretty good. The food choices here are amazing. One thing I absolutely LOVE is that there is so much Japanese life here. Most of the signs are in English and Japanese, and in the airport the messages on the loudspeaker would be English, then Japanese. Plus there are a ton of Asian students here. I can’t wait until I know enough to overhear other people’s conversations. 🙂

    There was a shuttle to Wal-Mart so Liz and I went, and I got everything I needed, except for cotton balls, q-tips, and a cable for the TV I got. So I can play XBox, but no cable. Dang it… I miss Adult Swim. Yeah, I bought a TV for 60 bucks… not bad. And last night a guy was cleaning out his dorm room and I got a slightly used fridge for 20 bucks. So I stocked up on some juice and fruit cups and Snack Packs. Snack Pack!! And I’m posting pictures of my finished dorm room and stuff. I wish I had taken my camera to Wal-Mart. The view from Wal-Mart was gorgeous! And the sacks all say Wal-Mart Hawai’i. It really is beautiful here, if you can get over the heat. And the rain. It’s really odd, the rain. It’s not even like it’s raining. It’s more like it got so humid that it’s mist. Mostly it’s not hard enough to get an umbrella, since you’re going to be damp anyway and the mist at least cools you off. The dorms don’t have air conditioning. In fact, most of the buildings around here don’t, and everything’s really open. I like it that way, although I did have to buy a fan. It got a little bit chilly during the night though.


    Last night on my way back from the airport, one of the guys driving the van, Jim, was telling me it’s still summer here, so it won’t be this oppressingly hot the whole time. Another odd thing: all the street lights are a dim orange, which makes for a very surreal night atmosphere and Jim explained that they’re dim because of the astronomical observatories. Which is a really cool reason to have orange street lights.

    Gas here is 2.32 though. And so are Big ‘n Tasties. Which are only a dollar back home! tear But I don’t plan on eating much McDonald’s anyway. I just had to today because it was in Wal-Mart. It’s one of those things where you have to. Don’t question it.

    I am terribly homesick but I think it’ll get a lot better when classes start. But for now I will immerse myself in City of Heroes. Arg. It’s only 7 o’clock but I’m already tired. I wake up at 8AM to go to advising and registration. Yay! And then I have to buy books… Ew. I’m going to buy them used on Amazon, but I’m still afraid they’re going to be expensive. I’m going to look for a work-study job tomorrow. There is a Borders here, and I would love to work there, but it’s pretty far away to walk. Especially in the heat/mist.

    I found out my address is 603 W. Lanikaula St. #319A, Hilo, HI 96720 but I still don’t know my phone number. I’ve been using my cell phone to call my mom and David, but I don’t really know yet if I’m charged extra for that. The phone situation should be fixed in a couple of months though. I leave you all yet again, but my thoughts are always with you. Aloha!

  • 14 August 2004

    Well, it is 4 in the morning on Saturday… in about 24 hours, I’ll be on my way to Tulsa, and in turn on my way to Hawai’i. The moment I’ve been waiting for a long time is suddenly here too soon. There’s not much else I can say, except I love you, I’ll miss you, and I can’t wait to see you again.

    Until next time you happy bastards.

  • 9 August 2004

    You think he would understand by now. You don’t chew the USB cables, you don’t chew the books, you don’t chew the hair, you don’t chew the laptop, you don’t chew the feet, you don’t chew the Glade Plug-In, you chew the boxes and the nice soft cord thing we got you at Wal-Mart. HE is Ares, a 3-month old chocolate lab. We DID have an 8-week old yellow lab named Atlas, but unfortunately he was the runt, and therefore could not resist the evil Parvo that eventually killed him. tear I have pictures of both of them, but I keep forgetting to get my picture-loader-upper thing.

    Anyhoo, Atlas, although very small and sickly, had intelligence in his eyes. Ares does not. His eyes are just a little bit too close together and he’s not the brightest, but he’s a good dog. I feel safe leaving David in his protection. 🙂

    While I’m on this subject, let me clarify something for future reference. From now on in the virtual land and the real one, my brother shall be known as Dave and David is, well, David. Because that’s just too weird. I will never call David “Dave” and from now on I won’t call my brother “David.” Clear? Super.

    It is now Monday and I have less than a week before I leave. I refuse to face my fear except for the darkest hours of the night right before I go to sleep, I can’t seem to control it. Meanwhile though, I can feel the terror growing in the back of my mind and I can totally see it building up until the moment I set foot in the airport, where I will then have a panic attack to end all panic attacks and hug my mother’s leg screaming. Future airplane seat neighbor, be warned: I will be in the fetal position for most of the flight. I might sit up for the peanuts. Those are damn good peanuts. Although I heard that most airlines don’t do that anymore. It was supposedly a rarity when I got some a few years ago on my first flight which was a Southwest plane (duct tape on the seats). Well, if I never have them again, I’m glad I could say I had airline peanuts once. checks off #179 on life to-do list

    No, seriously, I really need to go home and start packing, but I’m scared to. As if packing would make it seem too real. And then I have to furiously stuff my suitcases full of dirty clothes and sheets at 3:30 in the morning next Sunday. And I’ll probably forget all of my underwear, cause I’m bad about that. I always forget something important whilst packing, either underwear or something to sleep in or something to wear on the bottom half of my body or deoderant or my toothbrush or socks. In that order of forgetfulness.

    I probably will go home and pack here in a minute, because I have to get Ares used to people not being around him for several hours (he’s a big whiner). I’m probably going to cry when I take my posters down. I had a really ingenious plan. I was going to put all my posters in one of those poster rolls (I have a bajillion from Carmike) and mail them to myself, but at this point I realize that I won’t know my address or who my roommate is until I get there so I might just take them with me. I bet the poster roll will fit in my suitcase. That is kind of annoying though, because I was hoping I could contact my roomie to figure out exactly what I needed to bring. (I hope she lives locally and she has everything already… I am so poor.) Plus, there’s some committee that’s supposed to ask for the NSU catalog so they can evaluate all my classes to give me credit, and they haven’t done that yet either. Surely they won’t do it at registration… I hope it’s not some big mess. Arg. And I am NOT taking any math classes again. No way.

    I am pretty excited though. New people! New surroundings! New weather! Hopefully it won’t be as humid, although the last few days it hasn’t been too bad. I’m hoping I leave before the heat comes back, because it always does. And I know that I am SO coming back tan. Mahaha… since the Hawai’ian sun is so much stronger, I figure the daily thirty minutes or so I spend walking to class will be just enough to tan and not burn. The tables will be turned… you will all be pasty from winter and I will be dark and exotic… and probably freezing. And probably not exotic, really. But changed. Definetely changed.

  • 1 August 2004

    I’ve really been in a funk lately. I’m not sure what to do about it. I’m not even really sure of anything, except that it’s August 1st and I only have 14 more days before I leave. I’m really excited, but really sad too. I daresay I’m going to miss Muskogee. I’ve spent most of my time after high school trying to leave it, but I like my life here. Except career-wise, and then I remind myself why I’m going. It’s only temporary. But isn’t life temporary? What if I miss out by leaving? Why am I such a worry-wart?

    I think that’s what’s wrong. I’m just sad. I have pre-homesickness.

  • 26 July 2004

    Ya know, I had a lengthy retort planned. I really did. But everything I started to type just wasn’t exactly what I wanted to say. So I’ll just link you, and let you read this (I found it from Carrie’s site btw):

    CAPAlert’s Butterfly Effect Report

    This is a prime example of why I have a personal, private relationship with God and why I choose not to be a religious nutcase. The part that really got me was when he wanted to save the “punks.” When I wear my spiky bracelet or use expletives in public, is there some fanatic walking past that wants to save me? That feels some instant sorrow for my everlasting SOUL? That immediately knows my life history, including how I disobey my parents and cut myself at night and only act this way because I must hate myself and retaliate by rebelling against God? Well, save on brother, save on. The fact that people can’t open their eyes is what saddens ME. There’s a reason why followers are called SHEEP. They spend their lives being mindless and still get eaten by the wolf.

    Everybody that is alive must progress and change. Some even believe that is the entire meaning to life. MY God teaches we should love one another. He doesn’t teach us to label and criticize. MY God teaches us to keep our minds on what is good, and holy (something my mom reminds me daily…), so why are these so-called christians (I use lowercase purposely) at these EVIL movies anyway? True Christians don’t need a movie review… they don’t need sheep telling them what to do and where to go… they live, and they ask God for guidance, and they let their children live, and teach them to depend on God.

    Argh… that just makes me so angry. It shouldn’t, because everybody has their own personal path they must follow… I know better, and therefore I shouldn’t worry about it. It’s their lesson to learn. But still, it angers me. All I want is peace. I would go so far as to say that this is the same kind of mindset that promotes warfare, because it is: those who believe in a cause so firmly and blindly that they intrude on the lives of others, because they think they are doing the right thing. Every human soul has dignity and deserves respect.

    I just… have nothing more to say. Go ahead and pray for my soul if you disagree. Meanwhile, I’m going to go pray that the world gets a bigger dose of compassion.

  • 23 July 2004

    So… I’ve really gotten into Adult Swim lately. Like, really. I used to hate, HATE Aqua Teen Hunger Force. I know, I know. I’ve always loved Sealab 2021, but how could you not? Anyway, now that I’ve watched ATHF, I keep thinking to myself, “Self? When did you have a big stick up your ass, that you couldn’t let your hair down (figuratively) and watch some funny stuff?” And I don’t know the answer. I really don’t. I also really like Case Closed. I’ve always liked that detective stuff though.

    I recently read Origin, and I have a couple of questions. I thought that Wolverine’s only mutation was healing powers, and that’s why whoever the crap they are implanted that adamantium skeletal structure. If this is wrong, and he DID already have the claws, they took the existing ones out and implanted the adamantium? Isn’t that kind of not fair that he has more than one mutation? I personally think this came about from the fact that his mother was a whore, and he miraculously has two fathers. His actual father is supposedly the one that handed down the wolf-y curse, but it is so obvious that his mom was doing Logan, and this is possibly where he got the healing mutation, and why he is able to have genes from two fathers. Cause let’s face it, he looks just like Logan. So him and Sabertooth are actually BROTHERS…. Mahahaaa….

    cough

    Anyway, back to the non-nerdy world, I got my plane ticket yesterday! Yay! I actually got a round trip ticket because they’re a lot cheaper, and I guess, if I hated it or something, I could always come back. But I’m getting there Sunday, and my return ticket is Wednesday, and that’s really not enough time to decide anything like that. I wouldn’t come back after three days unless it was just awful, like… gigantic worms were eating the dorms. And seeing as it’s Hawai’i, I don’t really see how I won’t like it. Well, except for that whole homesickness thing. sigh I’ve been reading the UHH Orientation forums, and there’s a whole lot of people in the same boat. That gives me some comfort. I just hate how shy I always get around new people. I don’t say much, and kind of look stoic, so other people think I’m just stuck up or mean. I’m going to have to channel Alesha and be more outgoing.

    I’m just really a chatterbox today. I’m getting off the subject here. My plane leaves at 7:05AM, and that’s means I need to be at the airport by 5:30, which means I must leave Muskogee by 4:30… ugh. The first flight is just an hour, to Denver, where I have a four hour stopover but the Denver International Airport has a lot of interesting stuff in it so I should be okay. Then a six hour flight to Honolulu, where I will spend the next two hours stuck in the airport while it’s beautiful outside, and finally, another hour-long flight to Hilo, where I actually get to walk outside of the airport! Yay! There’s going to be a shuttle bus from the college to pick up students, and then I get to meet my roommate. I’m really freaking excited and really freaking nervous as it gets closer.

    Crystal said it perfectly: Before, when I said I was leaving August 15th, it was like twenty years away, and now it’s like “Oh crap, you’re leaving tomorrow! Dang…”

    And there is Roswell on the Sci-Fi channel, and this is where I must leave you.

  • 19 July 2004

    You may have noticed that the site has been down for a few days. I just have one thing to say about the whole debacle, and that is:

    Some people are ridiculously sad.

    That being said, I’ve decided to take advantage of this time to revamp my website before I leave for Hawai’i, seeing as how I’ll probably be too busy for a while to do much to it besides post pictures. (And what gorgeous pictures they’re going to be!) Mahaha… I’m so excited.

    I ordered my laptop today! Double excitement. Anyhoo, I’m going to work on this some more, but right now, I’m going bowling with my friends. Ja ne.

  • 12 July 2004

    You know what? Sometimes you just can’t win. I come so fucking far and then lose it somewhere. I don’t understand and I will NEVER understand.

    All I know is I’m tired. I’m tired and trepidatious and I’m not even excited about leaving Muskogee anymore. Because these worries are going to follow me to the ends of the earth. Probably even farther.

    I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Maybe I’m the shoe.

  • 3 July 2004

    Argh… I know I haven’t updated. It’s because life is a sucking vortex and I have this one moment to reach out and type something before I am pulled back in the spinning world.

    I’m going to work in a little bit. Some upcoming things: Jessi’s party tonight, my b-day, float trip on the 17th, departure Aug 13.

    Be back later.