I have a lot of things to say today, and I’m going to change moods very quickly. Brace yourself.
First of all, I’d like to put in what I wrote, mentioned in the previous blog. But before I do that, I’d like you to read the passage from Memoirs of a Geisha that inspired me to write it:
“I’d been looking only for a sign about the Chairman, and hadn’t noticed. From this experience I understood the danger of focusing only on what *isn’t* there. What if I came to the end of my life and realized that I’d spent every day watching for a man who would never come to me? What an unbearable sorrow it would be, to realize I’d never really tasted the things I’d eaten, or seen the places I’d been, because I’d thought of nothing but the Chairman even while my life was drifting away from me. And yet if I drew my thoughts back from him, what life would I have? I would be like a dancer who had practiced since childhood for a performance she would never give.”
And this is what I wrote, I called it “The Moth and The Butterfly”:
The moth spends its time looking for the light, reaching and yearning for it. But it’s short life is hopeless, for it will never find the light it’s seeking.
On the other hand, the butterfly, as a caterpillar, looks inside itself, and when adversity is over, finds that the most beautiful light of all is reflected in its glorious wings.
And here’s the little poem I wrote with it:
How the sands seem still
Passing through the light of day
Darkness brings the moon above
Shadows define the light.
It’s just a little bit. A little piece of me, trying to put my feelings into words. Now, on to the next mood: anger. Yes, I am mad. Steaming. And it doesn’t make it any better that my ear infection is STILL here, despite the many types of antibiotics being ingested into my body. I really can’t say exactly why I’m mad right now, but it leads to me wanting a different domain name, so I’ve been trying to think of one. The best I can think of is rinji because that’s what my Betha calls me, it means special, and it sounds like my name {Lindsey=Rinji}. Anyway, my other choice isn’t really a choice yet, it’s an inkling. I wanted something that sums up what I’ve been feeling lately, so I looked up fate and destiny, and the root word is ummei. So, thanks to Eric’s suggestion, I was thinking about combining that with another Japanese word?? I dunno. If you have any suggestions, please e-mail me. As if anybody reads this but me.
Alright, the next topic is my car situation. As you may or may not have read earlier {see above comment}, I test drove a Camaro. That, however, didn’t really work out seeing as I don’t have 7 thousand dollars. And my dad has been really nice lately. The most recent thing he did was give my car new tires, new brakes, and HE FILLED UP THE GAS TANK. This is the nicest thing he’s ever done for me. So I’m thinking about keeping my little Geo Crappo. Just clean it up a bit, and install a radio, and it will be good for at least until I graduate college {read: three years away}.
Okay, that’s about it… I’m all talked out… so if you are some person I don’t know extremely well {besides myself} and you’re actually reading this, I’m sorry I don’t have anymore to say. I’m actually feeling a bit down about myself, so if you do read this, e-mail me or something. I’d REALLY like it. Okey, bye.
Lindsey @ 12:07AM
