Category: Old Blog Archives

bawl Source of my tears. Why does it have to be fifty dollars? I don’t understand. And that’s the reduced price… tear I’ll have to wait until it’s already out and then wait a while until I can find a nice used one on Amazon!! Oh, the horror!! sigh I guess I shouldn’t be complaining. I have every episode on discs. But it’s not DVD quality!!! And I don’t have the pretty box. whine

I decided not to go to the concert today. For several reasons. And I don’t really feel bad about it or regret it. So yay.

I don’t know what the crap I did. The last time Tyler and I went to the gym, I did these oblique exercises, and they have been hurting for three days. Not just the sides of my abs, but my back too, on the sides. It’s concerning me. It kinda also hurts in the middle of my back. I think I have something wrong. Something along the lines of needing a chiropractor to fix, which is impossible. I am poor. Ooh. I could just wait until somebody crashes into me. But no. I never want to be in a wreck again. Arg. That’s one thing I don’t understand sometimes. I mean, I know human instinct is self-preservation, but when someone is going to hit you, and it’s obviously their fault, why do we move out of the way? Especially if you’re going slowly and they’re only going to hit, say, your right bumper or something? It’s not like you’d lose in that deal. Well, unless you had a nice car. But I don’t. In fact I don’t have any car whatsoever. I drive my mom’s. And she would kill me if I even let someone scrape it. So I guess not dying is good incentive. Anyway. As I ramble.

I feel like hissing at the world today. hiss Blech. I’m just in a pooey mood. Probably because last night I had the worst allergy attack IN THE WORLD. I don’t even want to go into details. Let’s just say I didn’t get any rest at all until I slathered Vicks VapoRub all over myself. And I still feel icky. At least I’m wearing my pajamas with the feet. Yes. Don’t laugh. You know you want some for yourself. When my mom found an adult-sized pair, she couldn’t help but buy some. And the fact that I’m still wearing them when it’s 4:50 in the afternoon? Well, if you knew me, you wouldn’t think twice of it. I find it strange that I don’t like taking a shower as soon as I get up. I just…. can’t. Warm sleepy body, evil water… it just doesn’t mix. I only take a shower either right before I leave the house, or at night if I haven’t taken one already that day. That and I really really like wearing pajamas. In fact, I wish I had some more.

Which leads me to shopping, which I really really really really want to do. Not in the store, though. On the internet. At discount prices. Yeah. But I know if I do that, it would just not be smart. I got my change check, which was not very much at all, I didn’t realize they would divide it in half since I didn’t get a loan last semester. So I don’t get the rest of it until March 24th, or something. And that one will be a lot. Enough to get a car. But for now, I really need to hang on to the money I have, since I still can’t find a job. I looked in the Muskogee paper today… there’s NOTHING, unless you have some kind of certification. All kinds of jobs, if you’ve been CLEET certified, whatever that means, or can use Auto-Cad, which… I should know how, since my dad helped write it. But no. Of course not. Argh.

And I’m still rambling. There’s just all kinds of stuff I want that I could buy. Like… the aforementioned DVD box set, digital camera, the Sailor Moon Japanese box set ($150… tear), an mp3 player, not to mention lots of clothes. But I must have willpower. sigh

Yesterday Bryan and I went to Tulsa and helped Andy and Jessica and Jessica’s mom move to a new apartment. That was pretty fun. Nobody likes moving, but I’ve done it so much I realize how much you appreciate help. And plus I hardly ever get to see Andy and Jessica. They’re so fun. And Jessica gave me some old clothes. Yay! Like thrift store shopping except you don’t have to pay and the clothes are all clean. And Andy gave me a nifty wall scroll. It’s a sample from a company that makes them for Chinese restaurants. There’s a pretty picture of some cranes in the middle, and little descriptions of the Chinese zodiac around that, and then at the bottom a 2004 calendar. It’s great! The coolest part about it, though, is that when you pull the bottom of the scroll up and hook it to the top, there’s the whole menu for the restaurant right there. I thought it was really smart. And Jessica’s mom Ursula gave me a little table thing, which I have to find some way to go up and get later in the week, it wouldn’t fit in Bryan’s car. All in all, it was great. I kinda wish I could move to Tulsa. At least they have more jobs there.

I feel really dumb. I’ve been waiting and waiting for Alesha and I’s Dante books to come in the mail. They were supposed to be here Monday, but I still haven’t seen them. Well, I just checked the tracking thing, and it said they were UPS and they were delivered Monday. I thought it was through the mail. And the UPS guy always put the packages at the back door (he’s used to us… mom orders lots of QVC). So… I’m gonna go check at the back door now… they didn’t leave a note though, there’s usually a note. anime sweatdrop I’ll go check now.

Okay, it is really freaking cold out there. But the books were not there. I even checked the back garage door thinking maybe they thought that was the back door. That kinda sucks. That means they’re lost. 🙁 Arg.

Anyway, my room is so purty now. I got my bookshelf and it’s all tidy and arranged very cute. Although I was reading my feng shui book and I put the bed in totally the wrong place, and you’re not supposed to have a fish tank in your room. And you’re not supposed to put any pictures of water above your bed, and I have Hiroshige’s Wave off the Satta Coast and Hokusai’s famous wave picture. Ah well. Screw feng shui. As the asian gods strike me down.

I’m gonna go… do something else now… like rearrange my cd’s. They’re kinda messy. I have but one piece of advice for you: go out and buy the Red vs. Blue DVD. It’s so worth it.

Hello again. Same psycho girl here. Last night was interesting. It was Paul’s birthday Tuesday, and tonight we all wanted to go to a club to celebrate. We decided on the Majestic, and after hours of being silly at Paul’s house and driving around aimlessly trying to find downtown Tulsa, we arrived there only to find that it had suddenly become 21 and over. (It was 18 and up only last fall.) The youngsters we had with us, Becky and Janelle (the rest of us included Paul, Alesha, Tyler, Rance, and Billy), obviously couldn’t go in, so we were directed to Studio 54 down the road. It was really packed, but the music was great. I love dancing!!! I’d missed it so much, never get to go. The only ones really dancing were Janelle, Alesha, Tyler and I, but we managed to get Billy out there and teach him to dance. It was great. Poor Billy, getting molested by three girls. Speaking of molested, Janelle got hit on and handled the most. I didn’t really get that much attention at all, except one guy that wanted to dance with me, holding a beer and looking really sweaty. Ew. Well, that actually would have been okay if he was, say… really hot. But we were all sweaty anyway, so what the hey.

I actually don’t really like flirting or picking up guys in clubs. It’s like this evil game, almost like a race, where you have to be coy and flirty enough and catch a guy’s eye in time. That is, if you take the aggressive route. When I dance, I really just like to shut my eyes and pretend nobody else is there anyway, just letting go in the music and the heat. It’s an addiction. It really is. You have to get into the mood of it. So Studio 54 was really cool I thought, because they have two girls dancing and two silhouettes of other people dancing. I thought that was really neat. And the music was awesome. A perfect mix of well-known and little-known, hip-hop and techno, all really fast-paced. I loved it. My knees were killing me by the time we were done though. But at 2:00 when they stopped, I still wanted to keep dancing.

A really fun night. sigh I wish I could do that every weekend.

Okay, and I have to put this in, because this is seriously the funniest thing I have read in a long time. Shayna sent it to me.

The Top 15 Quotes We Wish Were in the “Lord of the Rings” Movies

15. “Say my name, dwarf!”
16. “Look, Sam, my name isn’t Mr. Frodo — it’s Frodo. Mr. Baggins if you’re nasty.”
17. “You had me at ‘Aiya vanima.’”
18. “Nice work killing that Orc, faithful friend, but still it twitches. Slay it again, Sam!”
19. “I. Don’t. Like. The. Leggings. Drying. On. The. Rod!”
20. “It don’t mean a thing if you ain’t got that ring… doo-wah-tee-wah, doo-wah-tee-wah, doo-wah-tee-wah!”
21. “Brethren of Gondor, we are gathered here to join Arwen Evenstar and Aragorn, son of Arathorn, in holy matrimony. Frodo, do you have the ring?”
22. “Elvens have left the building.”
23. “Attention, audience: Fair Arwen is speaking, so you may all relax, as nothing important will take place. The next 10 minutes would be an excellent time to go pee.”
24. “Legolas my Eggolas!”
25. “Go not by that path, Aragorn! For my young companion Osment sees dead people!”
26. “Smeagol, do you like movies about gladiators?”
27. “You sure you ain’t never been just a wee bit curious, Mr. Frodo?”
28. “Ha! Let the dark armies of Saruman come! It would take an entire brigade of giant mutant four-tusked elephants to conquer our… well, son of a bitch!”
29. “Run, forest, run!”

Whew. Finally a chance to relax. I have been going nonstop ever since… well, I think it was last Monday. Yeah. Let’s begin.

First of all, I have noticed that I vary between the two extremes of optimism and pessimism.
Optimism: I drive to NSU the day their offices open. I’m going to get everything settled, get all my references done for my Pomona application, and get the hold off my account so I can enroll this semester. And I get to hang out with Ricky. Yay!
Pessimism: I didn’t get to talk to any of my professors, and the evil evil evil lady at the business office was very rude about that whole “owing them money” thing and says I can either pay the 400 bucks by the 12th or forget coming to NSU. I leave the office and start crying. In hindsight, I should have cried IN the office, but ah well. Call Ricky… he’s asleep, can’t hang out. The fates have conspired against me and I feel like a stranger, shut-out in my own land. Arg.
Optimism: Ricky and I get to hang out that evening! Yay! (Not thinking about the money issue right now.) It’s sort of a non-date, that’s strange… but oh well, who knows what can happen? It would be nice to have a boyfriend. Maybe. Bryan and I have a really nice discussion about “friendly dating” (he says it’s impossible) over a sandwich at the Azalea Cafe. I get ready for my non-date. (I brushed my teeth :D)
Pessimism: Non-date went terrible. Spent the time discussing why we would be horrible for each other and how much he still loves someone else. I remember that I need 400 dollars by the end of the week, and about fifty references or I won’t get into the school of my dreams. I play Voodoo Vince at Alesha’s in frustration, and the stupid game just keeps getting harder and harder. Arg.
Optimism: The next day dawns bright and clear, and I remember that I just really like being friends with Ricky anyway and that if I wanted to, I could always open a gallery. (Long story, but hopeful.) Life is good again. Yay!

The rest is becoming a blur, as memories always seem to do. I learned that I could get a student loan and it would cover the 400, and that my mom was getting her bonus at work and I can get my digital camera. Yay! I got my postal test results back, and not only did I pass, I got a 97.7!! Super yay! I got to hang out with Mosby and Debbie. We went and ate at Del Rancho, which was actually really greasy and not so good. Also there were problems with who would and would not use the phone at the booth. And Mosby spilled pop all over Debbie and I’s side of the booth, and my purse, which he could only laugh at. Leaving Mosby’s house, Debbie and I drove back in the thickest fog I’ve ever seen. It was a bit scary, but really neat. It was like we were driving off into the unknown, only seeing what was directly ahead of us, but not the whole picture. Like life. Let’s say I got a bit philosophical. And the street signs looked like they were floating. That was the coolest part. 🙂

Friday at work was terrible, I did a really good job, but I didn’t have that many tables, and I only made about 30 dollars in tips. Then I got my paycheck for two whole weeks, and it was 26 dollars. The next day I decided it really wasn’t worth it, so I quit. I actually feel much better. I’m not really looking for a job either. I sent in the toll booth collector application, and I should hear something from the postal thing, and other than that, I’m not worried about it. I feel a lot better doing nothing for no money than working my ass off for very little money. Plus I get to do all kinds of nifty stuff around the house. And it’s not really like I don’t have an income, because I’ve been selling a lot of books on Amazon lately, and I drive around with my mom sometimes as her navigator. I earn my keep. 🙂

I beat Voodoo Vince!!! Ha HA!!!! So there.

I’ve been really happy lately. Monday was Alesha and I’s Dante/Milton class, and it looks like it’s going to be really interesting. Of course, I always like English classes. And I found the books for that class and Magical Worldview online for really really cheap. And that’s always good. And today I bought a bookshelf! Yay bookshelf! I’m rearranging my room so it can be beautiful and efficient, and this bookshelf is a part of that plan. But… there were two right hand sides in the box. That really upset me since I was looking forward to it so much, but I went on their website and ordered the left side and it should be here in 1 to 2 days. Sweet. And I’m using Danny’s old scorpion tank as a fishtank. I bought gravel and a plant at Wal-Mart today, and I have a bag of river stones to put in it. Now all I need is a light, a filter, food, and a fish. Or two. Who knows? Alesha thinks I should get a puffer fish, but… they kinda scare me.

I’ve decided not to apply to the University of the Pacific. I don’t really like their Japanese program, and if I didn’t get accepted to Pomona, I don’t think I would enjoy being at my second choice. So it’s all or nothin, baby. And if I don’t get accepted into Pomona? Well, there’s always the gallery.

sigh I have so much to say. So much has happened the last few days! I’ve even been forming little journal entries in my head, but I’m still really busy and I have no time to do it now. Just bear with me. It’s coming.

I can see it now… a gigantic crusade of international peace brought on by one heated moment of passionate retribution from nasty comments about my favorite show:

PEOPLE ARE ALL HUMAN!!
I think that was sort of the point of Rich Girls. Ally and Jaime produced the show themselves, so right away that shows you that they are very dedicated in what they do. When I first saw a commercial for the show, I thought it was ridiculous… reality TV at its darkest hour. And then I happened to watch it one day. It’s become one of my favorite shows. It makes me happier just to watch it, even though I have nowhere near as much money as they do. I think it’s because people strive for money in America today. We all think if we could just be a little richer, we would be happier. Because of Rich Girls, we see that no matter how much money you have, we’re still just human: we have problems, we have faults, we have bad times… but we are still alive, we have many things to be thankful for, and we are all in charge of our own happiness. Ally and Jaime have repeatedly said they are thankful for what they have, and talk about wanting to help those less fortunate. Yes, maybe they plan more than they actually do, but haven’t you ever done that? Ally and Jaime are both beautiful in their own individual, spiritual ways. Every person has something that makes them beautiful. The fact that so many people would judge them based on looks alone, and even their attitudes sometimes, just makes me sad. I’m sure that those who would comment about them hatefully have never made a mistake or acted badly in their lives, especially at 18, when you’re just learning who you really are. People aren’t perfect. Just because they’re rich doesn’t mean they have to be perfectly physically beautiful!! Just another reason why I really like the show. And by the way, as far as people go, I think Ally and Jaime are both very pretty.
Ally has an innocence and awe about life that is really refreshing, and Jaime’s range of emotions and how deeply she feels them are probably going to make her a great writer.
And as for their parents and what they were born into: did you get to pick and choose your life and your parents? Obviously not. Nobody does. So being prejudiced against them because they’re rich is unfair.
I know this sounds really corny and touchy-feely, but I just can’t understand why people have so much hate for each other… I just can’t even fathom why people can’t just accept each other for who they are.
I think the girls did a great job on the show. It got ME one step closer to realizing my own happiness, maybe if you open your eyes and give it a chance it can do the same for you.
Posted by: letomoon on January 3, 2004 12:54 AM

Read said nasty comments here.

I think this is going to spawn a fansite.

I am ITCHING again. The vile disease “my-layout-is-not-good-enough-i-must-change-it” has struck once more. Except, I am really really tired. I worked all day today, and have spent the last hour looking at crap on the internet. But I must change. I constantly want my website to reflect who I am on the inside, and I don’t feel it ever measures up. I think I need more content. I just always get hung up on the design part. I think because all the HTML and tables and layering are a lot less confusing than writing about myself.

“It’s a fine day, people open windows, they leave their houses, just for a short while.” – Kirsty Hawkshaw, “Fine Day”

Happy New Year! Yay 2004! Yesterday, work was hellish. There were several occasions when I found myself muttering, “I can’t do this. I wasn’t meant to be a waitress.” But I did make a bit of cash. Still, I never want to go through that again. Must get new job before Valentine’s Day.

At the end of work, we all got a glass of champagne (very yummy!) and after one glass, I was a little shnockered (empty stomach, lightweight…. yes i am a wimp). So then to Paul and Bryan’s! For… Cirque de Soleil. Yes, that’s what we watched pretty much the whole night, amidst the drinking and the talking and laughing and baring of souls and various other body parts. Of course, we watched the ball drop and went outside and shot fireworks at The Time. I got pretty tired after that, so Bryan took me home and we had one of our fantastic talks. A good night, all in all.

And tonight is a Mosby trip!!! So much fun will be had, I’m sure.

One thing about New Year’s, though. It can make me feel more lonely than any other thing or time or place in the world. I love my friends, with all my heart. But there’s just something about it… Picture a crowded room on New Year’s, and the moment comes, and everyone is laughing and kissing and hugging with their significant other (or just a lucky bystander), and there’s me, standing quietly in the middle of it all, wondering what this new year is going to be like with a sort of sad melancholy. I don’t understand it. It’s a strange mixture of loss and hope. Maybe I’m just feeling my mortality, another year gone, another year coming. Whatever it is, it’s a sweet sadness. I think even if I had somebody to kiss and be with I would still feel it.

Perfect song of the day: I Wasn’t Prepared – Eisley (right click to save)

Wow. I suddenly am all aflame with wanting. Some selected courses at Pomona College:
Asian Traditions
Fundamentals of Kabuki: Studio
Japanese Women Writers
Modern Japanese Lit for Science Lovers
Readings in Current Japanese
Sacred Traditions of China & Japan
Martial Arts: Japanese Jiu-Jitsu
Theatre and Dance of Asia
Theatre of Japan
Seminar: Asian American Psychology
Introduction to Classical Chinese
Seminar: Japanese Prints

And this is only a fraction of what they offer. I need to get into this school.

I got a new tongue ring today! It has the Chinese symbol for Long Life on it. Yay! I bought it when I went with Beth to get her belly-button pierced. It’s cute. And I really missed my Betha. 😀

Aww…. it’s so purdy. I heart it.
I updated at my Xanga site if you wanna go read it. Click here. I’m gonna go… pay some bills now. Yeah. By the way, you guys are really terrible about commenting on this site. Way to make a girl feel unloved. If I didn’t have my green pants I might be sad.

Blarby blarby blar. How was everybody’s Christmas? Comment me with present lists. 😀 So lookie! New layout. Yay! I like it because it’s ugly. If anyone saw the paper the other day Becky had a picture on the front page in her cute little Hastings uniform. Aww. I saved it. ^-^ I had a great Christmas. Well, at least I can safely say it didn’t go as badly as I had pessimisticly imagined. Paul! I still have nut (not coconut) cookies for you, and the regular coconut cookies for everybody else at the Howell mansion. I am feeling very sort of flighty today in my thoughts here. Fun. So the new layout I designed the other day on a Taste of Italy cocktail napkin was originally intended to coincide with my gift of a digital camera, and the entries would look a little different b/c I would have daily pictures. But I haven’t purchased it yet and I really got tired of looking at that big annoying Christina eye. I’m still changing a few little things about it, being a perfectionist, and I’m looking through other sites to see if I can find the code for that cool fadey hover link thingie. And watch out for that scrollbar. It’s a doo-hoozy!

Well, I think I’m just going to make the links all pink and underliney when you hover. I’m listening to a recording of a live Judge Jules show in Dublin. It’s 120 minutes long. I’m not really in the mood for dance music, but I don’t have a pre-set playlist and I got tired of having to click new songs.

So I guess while I’m here, I should give you a run-down. Yesterday I went off to my dad’s house, with Debbie as my chauffeur. She got me the cutest purse! And a nifty bead bookmark thingie. So off to father’s for some of the yummiest potato thingies ever. They’re like, stuffed potatoes, and they have cheeses, and cooked shrimp, and seasonings inside and they’re SO GOOD. Adreaian, of course, the perfect cook, made them. And there was some other stuff at dinner too, but that’s all I remember. Presents was fun. I didn’t feel uncomfortable there at all. A little shy, but it all went really well. My stepbrother Scott and his wife Cheryl have two little girls, Morgan and Peyton, that are so adorable!! They were a little shy of me at first but loved me by the time I had to leave! I really don’t understand it. I really don’t like children that much, at least I never used to, and they just really like me. I think because I’ll humor them, and play their childish games. Because… well, I like the childish games too. 🙂

This morning Mosby came by to pick up his PS2. I’m glad he let me borrow it but I didn’t really play it so I was more pleased to see Mosby than sad to see the PS2 go. Plus, that gives me an excuse to trade in all my PlayStation stuff and get more XBox games. At 1PM my mom and I went to Dave and Mel’s, my brother and sis-in-law, to eat MORE food and to hang out with family. The food was delicious, my nephews and niece were adorable (as usual), and I got a really nifty present from my brother. It’s a DVD of the classic Looney Tunes cartoons. Yay cartoons! And Benjamin (my 9 year old nephew) and I played his brand new XBox and watched Freaky Friday, and I played with Hannah (6) and Jacob (5). I guess I have to admit I do like kids. It’s really hard not to love them. They grow on you.

After that a quick stop at my Grandma’s to say hi to some more extended family. My Aunt Lyndia mentioned dessert and so I had EVEN MORE FOOD. I felt really really full. But a good full. Even so, I feel all kinds of pent-up energy and I think I’m going jogging tomorrow. So that’s it! Back to work tomorrow. (Ugh.) I hope everyone has a Happy New Year! Yay 2004!