Category: Old Blog Archives

I can’t believe it. My car has been sitting in the wrecking place for so long that the total charge is $354.38. And that’s just today. Tomorrow it will be $15 higher. But I’m going to sell it to a salvage yard and use that to pay the wrecker and help buy insurance. This whole mess is just crazy. I wish I had a lawyer in the family to give me advice. I don’t know if I have to buy insurance for the totaled car that I will never drive again, or if I should get multi-vehicle insurance, or just get it for my mom’s car, or what.
At least I got my internet hooked up. It disconnected Friday for no apparent reason. But now it works again!! Yay, free NSU computer people. I’m working on the redesigned version of this layout. It will look much better, it’s bugging me with this high resolution. I actually might design a photographer’s website for her. She needs one, I can do that, she can pay me. Sounds perfect. 🙂
The job was really great. It made me miss Carmike though, and all the people there. But the box was much more lavish than the little dinky Carmike one. This theater has a computer system in box, so when it’s slow, I can play Minesweeper and Solitaire. :p
Lindsey @ 5:29PM

Wow… The talk of the town is apparently The Bloggies. As I read these and vote (My personal fave picks overall are Wil Wheaton dot Net and Daily Sardonicism. <– She’s from Tulsa. ^-^) I wondered, “Why don’t I ever get something like this?” And then the answer came to me, as if from a revelation: I don’t ever talk or update, I switch designs too much, my content is extremely low, and I talk like a frickin teenager. Oh, wait… I am. That’s still no excuse. I’ll be 20 in July. Grr.
Whatever. The point is, I’m gonna try to get better at this. I promise. Hopefully soon. I’m just extremely busy. And I just got a job! Yay! Working at the theater here in Tahlequah. So now I have two jobs, both in theaters… Hmm. I start tonight, I’ll tell you how it goes.
As far as love life, I’m even more confused than before. You know what? I’m really a fool sometimes. Please don’t ever push something you’re not ready for, or that you’re not even sure you want. Cause now… I think I’m in a little over my head here. At least I had the backbone enough to stop things before they got worse. Geez. I’m tired of this doublespeak. I think I should just get some anonymous domain and blog all my worst horrible secrets, including all the names and dirty details. Of course, I wouldn’t tell anybody what the address was. Maybe the unsuspecting public would find it and be enthralled, but my family and friends can’t know this stuff. I just want to write it, I don’t want it out in the open.

I am so bad. I haven’t gone to class in three days. I keep waiting for my life to calm down, but maybe it’s me that needs to direct it. The last words of Fight Club keep echoing in my head: “You just met me at a really strange time in my life.”
Lindsey @ 12:49PM

Hey everyone! I bet you’re all like, “Dang, where’d Lindsey go?” Well, I’m here now. Again. I really haven’t had much computer time over the break and they just hooked up my internet in my new room today! That’s right, I moved in with Gina. I’m not an RA anymore. I got my grades from last semester and they weren’t anything to even be remotely proud of. So, I decided to quit the RA thing and concentrate on school. So, anyway…
Once again many things have happened since I’ve last written. I feel like a completely new person. One thing that I want to get out is that I don’t have a crush on anyone. I can always tell when I don’t because I build people up in my mind that I used to have a crush on. I guess to make my brain think I like them again. But today I have realized that I don’t like anyone. It’ll take some getting used to.
Another thing is that I’m kind of depressed. Not really that bad, but… I’m not happy. I always told myself that if I found myself in a situation during my life where I realized I wasn’t happy, I would get out of there and fix it. But I can’t right now. I feel so trapped here in little Tahlequah, partly because of my scholarship and partly because I have no money or car. I had a wreck last Friday, and although it wasn’t a very bad wreck, my little tin can of a car was totaled. So… no car, no money, no job, just a scholarship, a room, and 17 hours of hard classes. Yay. Feel my ecstasy.
But my brush with death has left me feeling very open and apathetic. I’m going to tell people how I feel and not care what they think about it. So Marc, if you’re reading this, hey, I used to have a big big crush on you. But not anymore because obviously, I haven’t seen you in over a year, and I’m not looking for a relationship right now. I just want to be friends, no matter what certain psychos *coughericcough* say. 😀

I feel so much better.

Now… anyway. Hopefully I’ll be updating more and I’ll have a new layout up soon because I got Paint Shop Pro 7 for Christmas!!! Yay!! Thanks Dad! Hmm. Maybe I’ll keep this layout. I kind of like it. Of course, I’ll modify it a bit. I switched to a higher resolution and it looks funny now. It still looks good on 800×600 though. Alright, that’s enough for now. Bye!
Lindsey @ 11:36AM

Hello, all. Not a whole lot of news. I changed the mood of the page in cliques, even though the Moody page isn’t even working right now. Added a couple of links to release. Here’s the lyrics of those songs I was talking about yesterday:

Gravity of Love by Enigma

O Fortuna (O Fortune)
velut Luna (like the Moon)

Turn around and smell what you don’t see
Close your eyes … it is so clear
Here’s the mirror, behind there is a screen
On both ways you can get in
Don’t think twice before you listen to your heart
Follow the trace for a new start
What you need and everything you’ll feel
Is just a question of the deal

In the eye of storm you’ll see a lonely dove
The experience of survival is the key
To the gravity of love

O Fortuna (O Fortune)
velut Luna (like the Moon)

The path of excess leads to The tower of Wisdom
The path of excess leads to The tower of Wisdom

Try to think about it …
That’s the chance to live your life and discover
What it is, what’s the gravity of love

O Fortuna (O Fortune)
velut Luna (like the Moon)

Look around just people, can you hear their voice
Find the one who’ll guide you to the limits of your choice
But if you’re in the eye of storm
Just think of the lonely dove
The experience of survival is the key
To the gravity of love.

O Fortuna (O Fortune)
velut Luna (like the Moon)

I Love You by Sarah McLachlan

I have a smile
stretched from ear to ear
to see you walking down the road

we meet at the lights
I stare for a while
the world around disappears

just you and me
on this island of hope
a breath between us could be miles

let me surround you
my sea to your shore
let me be the calm you seek

oh and every time I’m close to you
there’s too much I can’t say
and you just walk away

and I forgot
to tell you
I love you
and the night’s
too long
and cold here
without you
I grieve in my condition
for I cannot find the strength to say I need you so

oh and every time I’m close to you
there’s too much I can’t say
and you just walk away

and I forgot
to tell you
I love you
and the night’s
too long
and cold here
without you

Lindsey @ 10:37PM

Well, here’s a new layout… isn’t it pretty? I really like the image. It was handmade by me in Fireworks, not a bad program. This image reminds me of two songs, the title song “Gravity of Love” by Enigma, and “I Love You” by Sarah McLachlan. And that’s what I was listening to when I made this layout, so I guess they’re theme songs. ^-^
Lindsey @ 10:55PM

I’m starting to wonder just how much longer this hiatus is going to last. When I get Paint Shop Pro, I may just change the layout and not work on the other stuff until I have time. This past week was extremely hectic, and this week’s finals. My spring semester doesn’t really look that much better. But… I’ll let you know. And I’ll still keep the progress of the other sites up. I probably won’t do the anime site. And that domain thing is going to take longer than I thought too. But when I do it, I promise it’s going to be beautiful. ^-^
I STILL don’t have my glasses… grr. Hopefully tomorrow.
Lindsey @ 7:00PM

Well, things have certainly been taking an interesting turn lately… Lots of stuff happening that’s not really the norm. But hey! Change is good! Oh… haha. Anyway, I updated the music page, I have over 600 songs now. That’s so crazy! And I listen to them all too. But right now, my favorite song is Gravity of Love by Enigma. It’s so beautiful, and pretty much sums up how I’ve been feeling. I feel like I’ve been going through a lot of changes lately, my whole mindset and the way I do things.
I went to my “neurology” appointment today. They got it mixed up and I ended up right back in optometry. So I just had a couple more annoying tests done and I won’t get a real neurology appointment for another 6 months! Thanks, Hastings… lot of help you’ve been. Yeah. And my glasses aren’t ready yet, either. I can’t wait to get them!
Lindsey @ 4:33PM

Hey! Long time no write! Aww, look at my poor abandonded web page. Well, break was great, and school is almost out for the semester!! Yay!! But I have to get through finals first. Boo!! Well, looks like the domain is just going to have to wait. I bought some stuff off of eBay and I have to get reading/computer glasses. Yay! I can’t wait to get my glasses! I’ve already picked out the frames and everything. My appointment was yesterday, and I have amblyopia in my left eye, but the don’t know what caused it. It’s not progressive or anything, but the docs just really want to figure out what the dealio is. I guess, being a teaching hospital, that would make sense. Anyway. They put the dilatey stuff in my eyes and shone bright lights in my eyes for TWO HOURS… it hurt. And they still couldn’t figure it out, so I have a neurology appointment Monday. I’m a little nervous. What if they do a CAT scan? I want to figure out what’s causing it as much as they do, though. It’s a mystery… hmm… ^-^
Lalala… okay, well… yeah… I got to work at Carmike, and I didn’t realize how much I missed it! I can’t wait for the break so I can work some more. Okay, I better do my Government homework now. Ciao!!
Lindsey @ 7:05PM

Maahaha! I’ve found an adoptable Harry and Hermione! And all the other characters! (Okay, people, this is really weird because I hate adoptions and generally despise people that have these all over their site.) Anyway, here they are!

Aren’t they adorable!! I got them from HAC. They had a lot of the other characters too, but these two are my fave. Especially Harry. I can so relate to him. Well, no, I don’t have a scar shaped like a lightning bolt and I’m not a wizard, but you know what I mean. I almost got Dumbledore just because his outfit’s so awesome. Yay! I get to see the movie again tonight in Tulsa, on a big screen! Anyway, ta-ta. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!!
Lindsey @ 12:41PM

Look, I am also an Ewan fan… hehe.

Yes, I know all these little things are getting crowded. But it’s alright because hopefully over the break, I’m buying a domain and this page will soon be redesigned and moved. ^-^
Lindsey @ 12:54PM

Ah, I love you, MSN… no matter how many windows I have open, it always opens my e-mail in a new one… the small joys of being a computer nerd. Speaking of that, I gave my speech for Speech class today and it was over the basics of HTML. And while I was giving the speech (totally made up right then off the top of my head, of course) I realized how far I have come. I’ve been doing HTML for 6 years now. Wow… and still, my layouts, my page, never comes out the way I want it to. I look at other people’s layouts and marvel at how much soul they’ve put into it, and mine end up looking like this, just little plain ole Lindsey. Hmmm… I wonder if that means I don’t have that much soul? Nah… couldn’t be. I wish, then I wouldn’t FEEL so much.
Anyway, I’ve been desperately scrounging around for any design program now that my PSP has gone past the trial period. I downloaded Photoshop 6.0 only to find that it won’t let me save files. Then I remembered I had Photoshop 5.0, so I tried to install it, but I don’t have the serial number and therefore, can’t completely install. Now I have to wait on my dad to find the serial number, and what if he doesn’t… *scared* I don’t want to pay $99 for PSP, but it’s my favorite, and if I don’t get to design something SOON, I would give my firstborn child for it. Okay, maybe it’s not that bad, but I would trade something really important for it, like… my CD player (which I just bought and adore). It was only $60.
Hmm… other news… I’ve decided I’m going to Japan. I found this guy’s site and he had a page about his visit to Japan, and which tour company he used, so I looked at the site. It’s $2985 for 12 days throughout Japan. So I’m going to save up, and hopefully, the summer after my junior year, I’ll be able to go. That’s in a little over a year! Yay! I’m so excited. I’m wondering who I can get to go with me, though, cause I really don’t want to go alone, but I would, to see Japan. I was thinking Beth, but I’m afraid she’ll be too low on funds after her trip to Egypt. Maybe Eric… possibly.
*sigh* My fingers are itching to design something. I’ll go now, and open Paint and pretend I’m airbrushing like normal.
Lindsey @ 4:35PM