Category: letomoon.lindsey.net

You know how you come to a point where you can’t go back? Well, I am at one of those points. Actually, it has already passed and left me behind. I broke up with Randy, and even though there weren’t any feelings left, I was with him for TWO AND A HALF YEARS. And it hurts more than anything. Somewhere deep inside… and I can’t believe how hard it is. Now I’m alone. And it hurts. It hurts so bad. I hate how calm and normal I can be in the daytime and then cry my heart out at night, when it’s just me and I have nowhere or nobody else to run to. We have been through so much, and it’s almost impossible to just… throw all that away. But I can’t go back. I know it. I know it’s for good this time… and that’s what hurts. All I can do now is face forward, and hope things will get better, because they always do. I know God will help me through it. That’s another thing that’s worrying me. I’ve been reading the book “The Prayer of Jabez,” and it’s really good, and I’ve been praying the prayer, but it’s not working. It’s like the connection between me and God has been closed off somehow. I know God doesn’t do that, so it must be me, but I just don’t know what it is. I’ve prayed for forgiveness of my sins, and I’ve prayed to recieve God’s blessing, but I just don’t feel it. And Satan is not attacking me. That’s a bad sign. Or maybe he is and I’ve just forgotten how to recognize it. I don’t know. But anyway, so now I am automatically thrust back into the fields of lonely souls, millions of people searching for that single one, the one that is their perfect soul mate. But I think I am not going to look right now. The truth is, I have noticed someone, but I don’t want to be involved at all right now. (Is that stupid? To not want to like someone but you just… do?) So why do I still act like a nervous idiot around him? It’s crazy. I KNOW this is just a rebound crush. Must stop. But I can’t help looking at him and wondering if he feels the same way? Even just a little bit? I have always wondered that, about every guy that I’ve ever liked. Whether they liked me back or not. Now that I pretty much know the signs, I can look back and think, “Wow. He did like me. Heehee, me and my irresistable charm.” RIGHT. Anyway. But in the present, I have no clue at all. But… I have an idea. And that’s enough. For now.
Lindsey @ 10:43PM

Hi everyone!! Sorry about not writing!! I am now all settled into NSU and in RA training (Well, not at this moment, obviously). Don’t have a computer as of now, I’m using the office one, but by Monday I should have it all set up. My scrollbar doesn’t show up on this browser, even though it’s IE. Must be an old one. Well, the good thing is that’s the only thing that doesn’t work. Alrighty, I’ll try to update later. Bye!
Lindsey @ 4:23PM

Hey, how’s it going? Not a whole lot’s happened the last couple of days, except I had a garage sale today. Little scared cause this is my last night at home, tomorrow’s my first day in my new room as an RA for my sophomore year of college. Don’t think I’m a baby for being scared either. I’m going to be in charge of 24+ girls that are older than me. I would be a baby if I ran screaming for the hills. But instead, facing future head on. Rawr. Right, okay.
This layout is really starting to bug me. Ick. Dang, am I never satisfied? Oh, well, I have to live with it!! HA. And update where it counts. Yeah. During school, I might get to update more than I thought cause I’m getting a compy for college!!! YEAH!!! Okay, very excited. Extremely happy. Thank you, God!!!
Alrighty, going. If you like Mario Bros., the original, then go to this site. It’s great. Oh, also, Dayna, who seems more layout fickle than even I, has yet another one. I love the colors. Great job, Dayna!! *thumbs up*
Lindsey @ 10:53PM

Hay, whazzup? I just found a really great site of a girl who is a lot like me. Sweet-essence.net is her site. I added her to the blog mania list even though I like her whole page, not just her blog. Oh-well. Yeah. Okay. Going. Ba da ba ba ba ching ching.
Lindsey @ 12:45AM

Hi everyone!! I’m having a lot of technical problems with this layout, like I couldn’t put my welcome message up, but that’s okay, cause my other sites really aren’t ready anyway. I’m working really hard on the Roswell one, though. I need to start stars/earth. Anyway, yesterday was a very weird day. I keep getting this feeling that I’m getting signs, and I need to pay attention to what they’re saying. Lots of weird little things happening. I also broke up with Randy. I just feel… very non-committal right now. I just want to focus on me and maturing for a while. So…. more news…
I just got the Nelly Furtado CD. I love it!!! I love her voice. Yesterday I watched The Sound of Music. It always makes me feel so wholesome, and I think it’s actually made me closer to God. I just hate how evil the world is. My junk mail box is a big sign that the world is sinking fast. Some of the subject lines are so nasty they make me nauseous just to read them. I guess that’s why I chose this pic for this layout. It just seems… pure. I just thank God I still have Him. Sometimes I think about all the hurting and evil in the world, and I can’t help but cry. Is that normal? I think I’m going crazy. I think maybe I feel this way stronger now because of Carmike’s robbery. I could have been there, I almost stayed, but something in me just said I needed to go home. Thank you, God.
Aack! Sorry I’m so depressing. I’m really happy now, though. Jammin to Nelly and makin web pages… ^-^
I’m like a bird… heehee. I’m out.
Lindsey @ 11:40PM

Yay!! Happy Anniversary to me!!! This site has been up for one whole year!! Aww. Anyway, new layout {obviously}. My server’s being poopy but I thought I’d try it anyway. Oh, by the way, to the 2 1/2 people that read this, you didn’t get to see July 31st cause of my server. But you really didn’t miss much. You can go back and read it if you WANT to, though. Go to the July archives. Hahah. Okay, bye.
Lindsey @ 3:10PM

Hello, everyone. I’m in a very…. bad kind of mood. Not really angry, just… I dunno. Anyway, haven’t written the past few days because we {my household} have had to do some home improvement to our roof. {It leaked on my bed!!! >_< Grr…} So haven’t really had time to get to the compy. I just watched America’s Sweethearts. It was really funny, I recommend it. Rather jumpy plot though. Well, it didn’t really jump around, it just… concentrated on one thing for a long time, and the next thing for just a few minutes… you get the idea. Still great, though!! I would pay to see this movie, if not just for the stars. There was a preview on it for a movie about baseball players, and tons of actors {and actress} I recognized, like Jessica Biel, Freddie Prinze, Jr., the guy that played Riley on Buffy, Matthew Lillard, all kinds of fun. That one’s a must see. As is American Pie 2. I just LOVE Alyson Hannigan. LOVE. She’s great. EEK! I can’t wait for Buffy next season. I also can’t wait for September 24th. That’s when FX starts showing Buffy from the beginning. I didn’t really get to see the first two seasons because that’s when our local cable didn’t have WB. Now, about the WB, I could really care less. Scum. Anyway.
I feel horrible about a lot of things. I know you’re thinking, “Great. Another whiny blog.” but WAIT. I have good reasons. I was talking with Randy tonight about all kinds of past things, and I hurt one of my friends really bad. I think that is the only time I have intentionally hurt someone. It was about three years ago, and it was Jeremy. And it just now hit me, tonight, how horrible that was. I really feel very ashamed. Jeremy, I don’t know if you even read this, but I’m sorry. From the bottom of my heart.
I also feel awful because my domain situation isn’t going very well. I just feel like I can’t make a good layout or have traffic or be one of the best. That’s not completely what I’m going for, but it would be nice. When {if} I get my own domain, hopefully it will be better.
I do feel good about one thing though. I looked in the mirror tonight and felt really pretty. That doesn’t happen a lot, but I think I’m finally getting used to the skin I’m in. Took me long enough. 19 years. Blah, I’m going. I made a really good poem and I’m going to see if I can’t toss it on a pic and make a nice layout. Bye.
Lindsey @ 2:51AM

Yay!!! Survey’s up!!! Go take it!! Wow, my little site is just expanding away… bwahahahaha!!!
Lindsey @ 1:03AM

Hi, everyone! I went to kabalarians.com to see my name analysis. I’ve been there before, a long time ago, but anyway, here’s the analysis. Very accurate.
The name of Lindsey creates an overly-sensitive nature which causes you to sense and feel far more than you can understand or put into words. You have a deep, artistic, and creative side which shows through a love for music and literature. Writing is a more natural mode of expression for your deeper thoughts and feelings than the spoken word. You have an ability to concentrate and work intently on anything which holds your interest. However, you prefer to avoid routine, monotony, and mental tasks. You enjoy the out-of-doors and find your greatest peace and relaxation from the beauty and harmony of nature. You prefer to limit your friendships and associations to those who share your interests and appreciate your quiet, refined ways. Others often find it difficult to understand you. Your feelings tend to build up within you and, if you cannot release them through a creative, constructive channel, you could suffer with frustration, moods, and much inner turmoil. This name causes tension in the region of the solar plexus, as well as the heart and lungs. Health problems would centre in those areas of the body.

Scarily accurate. And look at my online name, Leto:
Your name of Leto gives you a very idealistic but passive outlook on life. You desire culture and all the refinements of life but you are inclined to live in your dreams. Although you would like to do many things, procrastination undermines your accomplishment and success in life. You do not like to create issues and will do anything to avoid a conflict. Making decisions is difficult for you without the support and approval of others. This name gives you a very sensitive nature, making you feel much that you do not understand. Your feelings are easily hurt, at which times you are inclined to withdraw and become uncommunicative. Although you desire the friendship and association of others, you find it difficult to express your thoughts through the spoken word, and others find you hard to get to know. It is much more natural for you to express your deeper thoughts in writing. Inner tension can deplete your physical vitality. You are inclined to indulge in rich foods that lack proper nourishment. The physical weaknesses due to this name centre in the heart and respiratory organs, and in the fluid functions.

Very close to Lindsey. These people are so on the ball. Anyway, outie.
Lindsey @ 3:18PM

Allo… I put a new section up: blog mania. I was thinking, “Hey! I like these blogs and read them almost everyday! Shouldn’t I let other people have that chance?” So there it is. Some don’t update very often, but they make up for it in design. That reminds me, I’ve been very dry creative-wise lately. Well, I did make a layout today, but I don’t want to use it except with a chromeless pop-up {like this}. See, I have a very cheap but very lacking host. I only have 5MB’s, which is really enough, but it doesn’t support cgi’s. That’s really annoying. I’ve wanted to put Greymatter up, and a 404 page, and now the chromeless pop-up and I can’t. So I’ve been looking for a new place. New domain. I’m pretty sure about rinji.net, and I think I found a really good server. It’s 50MB’s, supports practically anything, and it’s 50 bucks a year. That’s 30 more than what I’m paying now, but I think it’s worth it. I was telling my mom about it, and she said, “Do you make any money off of this?” I said no, of course not, but every hobby has it’s cost. Besides, this is more like self-expression.
Lindsey @ 11:30PM

Hehe, put up little comment area. Talk to me!! Working on a survey…
Lindsey @ 11:56PM